Thursday, February 20, 2014

A time to start sharing


I usually don't write my blog out on a post, rather I hear them in my head all day long.  Within me lives a quiet voice, and it's that voice that narrates my own life right back at me as I live it out!  My experiences are quickly put into lyrical words so effortlessly it is as if my brain were breathing:

inhale life, exhale a story,
inhale feelings, and exhale a poem.  

My mind is in a constant state of thinking, analyzing, taking in human observation, and daydreaming. With so much activity going on upstairs I think my own mind had to come up with some kind of a method to organize and store all the story telling that goes on, so it created a "voice" (which actually is just me telling a story to.... well, me.  Ha). 

Often these mental blog are beautifully "written” out in my head. My stories usually have a good guy (a good friend) and bad guy (not so good friend), lessons learned and advice given,  seasons of facing adversity and falling, and seasons of  facing adversity and tasting sweet triumph!  I also like remind myself of my faith and I do a lot of talking with God because at the end of the day, the truth is... 

 I have no control over anything, but God does

I usually don't write this much and for that matter nor do I share this much!  But I'm hoping that will change, because lately my finger tips have been aching to write down more then just my poems, I think it's time to start sharing a little more of me and my story because maybe. 

Just maybe. 

My struggle with depression.
My adversities.
My mistakes.
My faith and testimony

Just may help you.  As I start sharing a little more of myself maybe you can identify with a small part of my story and perhaps a word or two I say may bless you.  

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Derailed


I feel sick inside from the filth I must hide
 Guilt eats me alive from a truth I deny
Don’t ask me what I’ve done, because I won’t share
So many times I’ve tried to run and escape the torment inside, but am unable.
At war with myself and my faith has derailed
I need prayer, but don’t trust anyone enough to ask
It’s a fight for my life a struggle to stay awake
The scares in my heart tell the story of unforgotten pain